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Thursday, November 19th, 2009
2:07 p.m. - QOTM
Fear is the junk food of the soul, while love languishes in the vegetable aisle. One's easy to sell and quickly consumed, while the other actually nourishes you. To a grocer who's just interested in selling anything to keep the store ticking over, putting the junk food out front is the obvious move.
--Kit Whitfield, in a comment on this page
(Note: I haven't seen In Great Waters yet, but I loved Benighted.)
Current Music: Iva Davies, "Great Southern Land (2000)"
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Monday, November 16th, 2009
10:08 p.m. - Hummingwolf Today
Now wearing: My peacock shirt with the light beige background, blue jeans, turquoise striped socks with stylized seahorses, old glasses, and boring underwear.
Now seeing: Letters & icons on the monitor, glowing mouse, keyboard. No non-computer lights on in my room, so everything else is too dimly lit to see in detail.
Now hearing: Icehouse's Big Wheel because the title track was playing on my brain radio this morning.
Revolution in the city
Revolution in the street
When the circle is in motion
Then the circle is complete
Now feeling: Achy, dazed, vaguely migrainey.
Now drinking: Hoji-cha (roasted green tea) in hopes that the low dose of caffeine will keep the migraine from worsening. Would rather not take the prescription headache meds if I can avoid it, though they do knock me out nicely.
Now smelling: Not much now that I've set the teacup down.
Last meal eaten: Fried chicken and Korean sweet potato, to which I added onion and gai lan (a.k.a. Chinese kale or Chinese broccoli), all of it seasoned with chili powder and salt.
Adventure of last week: Observant readers may have guessed that I've been to the Korean supermarket recently. It was Friday the 13th, in fact, after a long bus ride and before a neurologist appointment followed by another long bus ride. Exhausting trip, but I got some tasty food out of it.
Food of the week: In spite of the above, I'd have to say Stayman apples from the farmers market. I'm gonna miss that market this winter.
Toy of the day: Did you know that Korean Cheetos have no cheese? It's true: the bag I bought on Friday was a pepper flavor called "Hot & Spicy" in English (which is surely translated into Korean as "Wimpy Flavor Created by Americans"). Anyway, Korean Cheetos have no cheese, but they do come with toys. After some assembly, I now have a spinning top with Chester Cheetah on it (and the English label "Made in Taiwan"). It is good to be easily amused.
Now reading: Not much, unfortunately. It's been too hard for me to concentrate lately, which is frustrating because I have about a zillion books on my stack to be read.
Last TV show watched: Well, I don't have a digital TV yet, but there are still a few low-power analog stations the old TV can get. Last night I watched the latest Hal Lindsey Report. It was not as entertaining as the last time I watched the show (News story suggesting peaceful cooperation between nations = Sign of the End of the World! News story about increasing violence or threats thereof = Sign of the End of the World! Bonus points if it involves Israel (hint: everything involves Israel). New scientific discovery = Interesting in its own right Sign of the End of the World!) As far as I can tell, last night's episode was all about the Fort Hood shooting, the evils of Political Correctness, and the fact that all devout Muslims are ticking time bombs, which last is undoubtedly true if your definition of "devout Muslim" is "Islamic version of those guys who shoot abortion doctors" (everyone else is just not committed enough). Anyway, that's what I watched before I went to bed. Want new television.
Current medications: Aside from headache drugs I'm trying to avoid taking, my dose of Keppra has been halved. The neurologist said some of my recent problems could possibly be side effects, so she lowered my dose of that and prescribed another drug to go along with it. Medicaid, however, decided that they didn't want to pay for Lyrica without special authorization, so until I get that I'm just on the Keppra. Gives me a chance to find out if worsening symptoms get better on the lower dose, at least.
Miles walked: Around threeish, which is a little less than I walked yesterday. Weather both days was beautiful, sunny with temperatures in upper 60s or low 70s, wonderful for walking around on sidewalks covered in leaves. Tomorrow I am scheduled to collapse.
Links: Meant to post this last week: Signature of antimatter detected in lightning--and mad scientists everywhere rejoice (link via ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) nancylebov).
Oldie but goodie: How I Found the Lost Atlantis, The Source of All Civilization.
Quiz results of the day: ( Fluff inside! )
Current Mood: achy & brainfoggy
Current Music: Icehouse, "Stolen Guitar"
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Wednesday, November 11th, 2009
8:03 a.m. - Armistice Day
Somewhere beyond the mist and the misery on that November morning, six men met in a railcar to end a war. News of the truce moved through the trenches on the trembling lips of soldiers waiting for the screams of flying shells to cease before they believed what they were told. Some heard it first from their captains who distributed strips of paper that read: "Cease firing on all fronts. 11/11/11. Gen. John J. Pershing." Others would never know. They were the unlucky ones killed in the fragile hours before 11 A.M., before the fighting abruptly stopped. The silence, so unfamiliar, was almost as unsettling as the sounds, as if a giant hand suddenly lay across this land of rotting flesh to hush the din of battle. Silence. Prayers. Tears. Then came the roar of cheering and the popping of bonfires piled high with captured ammunition and anything that could burn. The madness was ending, or so it seemed. And fear was giving way to hope.
"One minute we was killing people," a soldier later said, "and then the world was at peace for the first time in four years. It seemed like five minutes of silence and then one of us said, 'Why don't we go home?'"
"I shall never forget the sensation," wrote an officer who climbed out of the trenches when he saw rockets signaling the cease-fire. Onto the open, unprotected ground, he walked toward the front lines of battle. The sun shining on his vulnerability, he moved tentatively, as if the earth beneath each foot might cave in. First he saw German helmets and caps vaulting into a distant haze and then beyond a ridge he saw German soldiers dancing a universal jig of joy. "We stood in a dazed silence unable to believe that at last the fighting was over."
--From "Armistice Day 1918", the Prologue to Savage Peace: Hope and Fear in America, 1919 by Ann Hagedorn
U.S.-centered links of interest:
Veterans History Project at the Library of Congress
Military and Veterans Records at the National Archives
Current Mood: thankful
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Thursday, November 5th, 2009
9:11 p.m. - I am a bad journaler
I keep meaning to write about my days & my thoughts, but then I end up doing something else entirely for no particular reason. But I will journal again, I will I will!
So anyway, a briefish entry about today. First of all: I have had very few thoughts today because I'm still tired and recovering (I hope) from a cold. It's been a mild cold as colds go, but it's still not been conducive to deep thinking. And I realize I'm babbling enough that what was going to be a short post may not be all that short after all even if I don't end up saying very much, but y'all will just have to deal with it.
Second: I still need to clean this keyboard. I need to do something to get all the keys working again, because having to pound certain keys (and then hit "Backspace" because I pounded one too many times) is really getting old.
Third: For several months, I've been having problems with the wasps (yellowjackets) nesting under the eaves outside my room. Now, I don't have a problem with wasps living outside the house--they're generally beneficial critters, preying on some of the real pests in the area. What I do have a problem with is that quite a few of them end up wandering into my bedroom somehow, someway, and generally being a nuisance. They haven't stung me, no matter how clumsy I've been in my attempts to smush them with minimal fuss. As I've had reason to learn, these wasps in a house or other enclosed space do not tend to attack; they just fly at the windows in a desperate attempt to get out (or, if it's a dark, gloomy day, they fly around your lightbulb in a confused attempt to escape this human-built hell they've wandered into). But they are potentially stinging insects in my bedroom and I do not want them here. Recently, finally, my landlord thought he'd figured out how they were getting in, and he set up an experiment to find out if he was right. Unfortunately, he didn't tell me what his experiment was so I ruined it the next morning. Anyway, after a weekend when I was getting up to five in the room per morning, I re-established his experiment and it seemed to be working. Until this morning, that is, when two more wasps somehow found their way into my bedroom. The experimental fortifications have been refortified, so we'll see what happens tomorrow morning.
Fourth: I really did expect this entry to be much shorter.
Fifth: Farmers market today!! Many area farmers markets quit at the end of October, but one good one is still going till mid-November. Even when I don't have enough cash to buy much or I'm tired because I'm recovering from a cold, it's fun to admire the apples and breads and meats, listen to music, listen to conversations, take part in a few, be amazed by the enthusiasm of the market coordinator, and all that.
Sixth: There was a brief rain shower today. Wasn't out in the rain much myself, but after it was over there was a rainbow standing out against a backdrop of dark cloud. Gorgeous.
Seventh: Did have enough cash to splurge on a little something for supper at the market, and I must say that a pastry filled with potatoes, greens, cabbage, caramelized onions, hot peppers, cilantro, cheese, and smoked chicken really hit the spot. Later in the month I may be able to eat nothing but beans & rice to make up for this indulgence. But oh, it was indeed worth it.
Current Mood: sore
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Monday, November 2nd, 2009
4:16 p.m. - What Hummingwolf Does to Her Men
So this weekend, feeling a wee bit sick and shaky, I wandered on over to MorphThing to take my mind off my troubles. And look who I met!
Isn't he cute? Our relationship went wonderfully at first; but, still being a bit ill and fuzzy-brained when I fired up the old graphics programs, I'm afraid that... well... I think I broke him.
Would write more here, but it's time for a hummingwolf to hunt for some Halloween candy with which to console herself.
(Fear not: Nonexistent Man is nonexistent, merely an image made by morphing eight different celebrities. No actual men--celebrities or otherwise--were harmed by a hummingwolf this weekend (unless I gave somebody my cold).)
Current Mood: sick
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Saturday, October 31st, 2009
7:37 p.m. - Writer's Block: Would you talk to the dead?
If one of my dead relatives has a message they feel the need to give me, I'm sure they're going to come and tell me whether I like it or not. Otherwise, I am sure Mom would be cranky if I woke her up, and Dad would just stick out his spectral tongue at me.
Do people actually get messages from the dead? Well, there have been some intriguing coincidences which seemed to be conveyors of meaning from some departed person to someone still here (in my father's family, flowers are often involved). But of course it's all coincidence, so I'm going to go with "Reply hazy, Try again."
The remainder of this post consists of silly quizzes, with commentary. You have been warned.
( Does this house have good candy? )
Current Music: housemate in the kitchen
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Saturday, October 24th, 2009
10:38 p.m.
After one of those nights when dreams stretch and merge and combine with each other and come apart again to bend again into new shapes, I woke up to the sound of acorns falling, or rain, or wasps, or ghosts. A beautiful warm morning. I got up for a bit, decided to go back to bed, then woke up for real about two hours later. Took an early shower, got dressed, ate and went for a short walk. I've been feeling under the weather lately--nothing alarming, not as if I had the flu, though perhaps it's like a healthy person getting a flu, a bit feverish (without any actual fever) and worn out and sore-throated. So I knew enough to keep the walk short, but it did feel good to walk for a while in the warmth.
Rested a few hours. Did a bunch of nothing, as I have been doing a lot for the last few days. Took a good, long afternoon nap and woke up with a feeling migraines often bring, feeling half in this world half in another. This state, of course, always leads to brilliant decisions, so it is not surprising that I looked out at the glowering sky, thought about the heavy rains in the forecast, considered how very tired I've been, and decided to go for another walk.
Query: Why do drivers on the highway honk their horns at pedestrians on the sidewalk just before drenching them in road spray?
Maybe some of the drivers were expressing their appreciation for the way I look in a wet T-shirt. I rather doubt it, but it is a theoretical possibility.
It was actually a lovely walk. When the rains first came down, I dashed into a nearby store and looked around for a while, having gotten only a little bit wet on the way in. After a while, I looked outside, concluded that the rain was easing a bit, bought a candy bar and left. I was completely wrong about the rain, of course, and quickly became more soaked than I have been in ages, since that one day when the rain clouds followed me to the doctor's office. The weather was still warm, so the walk was fun in spite of the drivers' honkings. Came home utterly worn out (one thing I'd forgotten was how much clothes and shoes weigh when completely saturated) and needing a hot shower to ease the pain in overtired muscles. Going out the second time may be something I'll regret tomorrow, but I can't say I regret it today.
One thing I need to do sometime soon is buy a can of compressed air. I need something to help me clean this keyboard--having keys that are hit-and-miss makes typing decidedly less than fun, especially when two of those keys are among the most commonly-used letters in English. Heck, two of those letters are in the word "English." Did you know that in 1829 the first Neanderthaler skulls were found in the village of Engis? Wikipedia tells me so. And I'm feeling even more feverish without actually having a fever, so it's probably time for me to give up pounding the recalcitrant keyboard and go to bed.
For the record: The foods of the week have been winesap apples, concord grapes, and hickory-smoked bacon. Somehow that seems deep and meaningful right now.
Current Mood: weird
Current Music: Jeff Black, "A Better Way"
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Saturday, October 17th, 2009
9:03 p.m. - Still here
I keep meaning to write a nice, long update, but that's apparently not going to happen. So, a mini-update: I am alive. In addition, I am sleepy.
Some more detail: I decided that since a person doesn't turn 40 every year, I would be nice to myself my entire birthday week. This worked out well, as my actual birthday was rather boring but other bits of that week were fun. Oct. 4: Spent time with folks who took me out for dinner (mmm... bacon buffalo cheeseburger). Oct. 8: Went to this farmers market because they had a cooking demo by (cable TV reality show?) celebrity chef Carla Hall. She put on a good show, engaging with her fans in the crowd & making tasty food for people to sample. While I was there, I splurged on a cheese pie with smoked salmon from Neopol Savory Smokery (verdict: expensive but delicious).
Weather last week: Basic pleasant, autumnal weather, good for walking. Weather since this past Wednesday afternoon: Cold & wet, not much fun at all.
My brain hasn't been working very well lately. I suspect that medication has something to do with this, which is disappointing as it's been fairly good at keeping noticeable seizures at bay. I think it's time for another neurologist visit, drattit.
Still have no digital TV, which leaves me with less to talk about. Maybe I'll get a DVD player and wait till everything comes out on video before watching every episode all at once. The library lets patrons borrow DVDs, but I'm not sure if they'll have everything I want. Hmmm... Is Dollhouse any good this year?
Current Mood: groggy
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Monday, October 12th, 2009
1:16 p.m. - Writer's Block: Cyberstalking
When I first got internet access at home back in the late '90s, I did put in some effort looking up guys from college to find out what had happened to them. (I was quite proud of my success in locating one with a ridiculously common name who had moved to two different states since the last time I'd heard of him.) Exchanged a few friendly e-mails with one man, but never tried following up on the others. After all, once you've learned that Misogyny Boy has finally emerged from the closet and Mr. Fundamentalist is now a fervent atheist, what more could you possibly need to know?
Current Mood: is this nostalgia?
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Friday, October 9th, 2009
12:23 p.m. - Nobel Peace Prize, 2010
For the Nobel Peace Prize to be awarded in 2010, I would like to nominate the members of the committee who chose the winner of the Peace Prize for 2009. More than anyone else in recent history, this Nobel committee has contributed to peace by prompting people from all over the American political landscape to come together as one and say: "SAY WHAT?! No... seriously... what?????????"
Many thanks to you, Nobel Peace Prize committee! Today, you have given us all great hope for the future.
Current Mood: no... seriously??
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Monday, October 5th, 2009
8:52 a.m. - 2009 Nobel for Medicine
Elizabeth H. Blackburn, Carol W. Greider, and Jack W. Szostak are this year's winners for the Nobel Prize in medicine for their research into telomeres (the tips of chromosomes) and telomerase (the enzyme that builds telomeres); discoveries which, in the words of the prize committee, "have added a new dimension to our understanding of the cell, shed light on disease mechanisms, and stimulated the development of potential new therapies."
This is the first time two women have won the prize in medicine in the same year. But what I'm wondering is, how many times has a winner of a Nobel prize quoted Monty Python?
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Sunday, October 4th, 2009
11:57 a.m.
Am trying to negotiate a peace treaty, but my opponent seems to be expecting unconditional surrender. And by "my opponent," I mean "my own &@#%! body."
I keep thinking that I've done everything I know to make sure that my body would have everything it needs to behave in a reasonably decent manner today, so I should just go out and act as if it will behave as well as I want it to. Then, of course, my body finds a way to remind me that it never did believe in that "mind over matter" myth, so I'll have to come up with some better plan.
Current Mood: frustrated
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Friday, October 2nd, 2009
8:47 a.m. - yesterday
Sat outside enjoying the archetypal autumn weather eating Korean food while listening to a bluesy duo playing "Route 66" accompanied by occasional trains. (The last train hit its cue perfectly. The singer's cry of "We paid the train's driver to do that!" almost seemed believable.) Wandered around the farmers market, buying fresh apples and butternut squash and muscadines of the scuppernong type. Half an hour before the market closed, I wandered again, no longer hunting for anything to buy this week, just looking and smelling and listening and talking. Came home after sunset, put food away, and carried some literature to my room, my hands smelling of perfumed oils.
Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: Andy M. Stewart, "Ca' the Yowes to the Knowes"
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Wednesday, September 30th, 2009
Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009
5:14 p.m. - Writer's Block: Do you prefer a tent or a luxury hotel?
How about a luxury cabin in the woods? Really, now: hot & cold running water, fluffy towels, a well-stocked kitchen, comfortable beds & chairs, and a chance to commune with the trees & moss without being bothered by traffic noise. Sounds good to me.
Of course at the moment, anything that doesn't involve feeling like someone beat me up while I was sleeping sounds good to me. The body and I have not been happy campers this year. It's a shame, too, because there's a farmers market I was hoping to go to today, but dragging myself that far from home just hasn't been an option. Ah, well, I suppose the hunt for crispy apples can wait another day or two.
Current Mood: sore
Current Music: chirping birds, shouting children, crickets, distant traffic
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Saturday, September 19th, 2009
8:36 a.m. - Brief note for further research
"An important analysis conducted by Children's Hospital Oakland Research Institute scientists suggests the importance of ensuring optimal dietary intakes of vitamin K to prevent age-related conditions such as bone fragility, arterial and kidney calcification, cardiovascular disease, and possibly cancer (1). Vitamin K is concentrated in dark green plants such as spinach or Swiss chard, and is either not present or present in only small amounts in most multivitamin pills."
Found article because various things lately have been nudging me in the direction of looking into vitamin K. "Various things" including the facts that I bleed far too much from my assorted body parts (including nose, hands, [TMI DELETED]), that antiepileptic drugs block vitamin K, that I feel better when I eat vast quantities of yogurt--that sort of thing.
This page from an interested layperson is certainly... interesting. Must do more looking.
Current Mood: curious
Current Music: crickets & distant traffic
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Friday, September 18th, 2009
4:10 p.m. - Writer's Block: What if calories didn't count?
No, calories alone don't matter to me. However, if the genie made it clear that the fat, carbohydrate, protein, vitamin, and mineral content of the food that day wouldn't affect my energy, moods, pain levels, or cognitive skills, I might have hot-fudge sundaes for all my meals.
Current Mood: thirsty
Current Music: crickets
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Saturday, September 12th, 2009
12:51 p.m. - Hummingwolf Today (and other days)
Now wearing: Purple nightgown with white fishy designs on it, lightweight medium-blue robe with multicolored strawberry & flower designs on it, long fuzzy off-white socks with holes worn in the bottoms, pale blue slippers, and the usual glasses. Am moving very slowly today--I was awake sometime around 7:30 this morning, but still haven't gotten around to showering yet.
Now seeing: The computer screen & the mess in my room. Haven't gotten round to opening the blinds yet either.
Now hearing: Computer fan, clackety computer keys, crickets and distant traffic.
Now smelling: Not much. Maybe I'm too congested.
Now tasting: Little bit of toothpaste in my mouth, which I may rinse out shortly with a bit more tea.
Last meal eaten: Pomegranate-flavored Greek-style yogurt (whichever brand is on sale this week), plain oatmeal mixed with shredded Italian cheeses (whichever blend was on sale) and assorted herbs, and a Bartlett pear. Oh, and also oolong tea.
Excitement of the week: Going out to dinner with friends last Sunday! That was fun.
Triumph of the week: Getting to a farmers market early enough to buy fresh raspberries! Demand for those far exceeds supply, apparently, though the vendor I bought from has not responded to demand by charging very much more than supermarkets do for conventionally-grown berries. Through blind luck I also ended up buying Honeycrisp apples the day the vendor offered them for less than the usual price, so this has been a decent week for farmers market shopping. If only the man from the dairy farm had shown up with some goats milk Gouda or smoked jalapeño cheddar, or if the woman who sometimes sells hand-rolled mozzarella had brought any with her to market, my life might be complete. Of course I'd also have less cash available now, so that may have worked out for the best.
Bodily annoyance of the moment: Back, upper arms, legs all hurt more than usual, but the real nuisance right now is my sore throat. More tea is definitely called for.
Last book finished: Fade to Clear by Leonard Chang, the third in his series of Allen Choice novels (first two being Over the Shoulder and Underkill). You can read more about the books on the author's website. Recommended.
Current library books: Well, after reading this entertaining review (linked by supergee), I rushed to the library to see if that book was on the shelves. It could not be found, (un?)fortunately, but I did end up checking out half a dozen other romance novels. I wanted to read a bunch of books by authors I haven't read in a genre I am not overly familiar with, and since romance novels tend to be easy to read, the genre seemed an obvious choice. I had forgotten, though, how quickly I lose patience with certain genre conventions. Can't there be some legal requirement that authors pay a fine if they use the words "velvet" and "steel" more than a certain number of times per book? At the very least, can't the metaphorical use of both "steel" and "velvet" in the same sentence be made into a capital crime? Please? I may feel compelled to do damage to someone's velvet-covered steel shaft before the weekend's through.
Silly quiz of the moment: ( What Beatles Song Are You? )
Erm, no. Not buying it.
Plans for the near future: Taking a shower's pretty high on the list.
Current Mood: achy
Current Music: mostly crickets
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Sunday, August 30th, 2009
10:08 p.m. - ::sigh::
Feeling melancholy yesterday & today, which frequently happens when I get extended migraines. Medication may be affecting me as well, though it's not easy to tell. Migraine days are not good days for trying to determine causes behind effects, for trying to rationally evaluate how disproportionate my emotions are--or for trying to rationally evaluate anything else, for that matter. I will be melancholy, because that's part of what migraines do to me, even if life is going smoothly otherwise. And when does life ever go entirely smoothly? The cherry tomatoes I bought at a farmers market on Thursday were completely moldy by Saturday and somehow the wasted money and wasted tomatoes turned into a metaphor for my life. It happens. Times like these, the most rational thing to do is embrace the irrationality and let it flow through me until it flows away.
Old Jonatha Brooke albums fit the mood a little too well. BBC comedy programmes still make me laugh, though, so I know there is hope (even if there are no tomatoes).
Current Location: somewhere near a migraine
Current Mood: melancholy
Current Music: a million crickets singing their lives away
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Saturday, August 29th, 2009
7:47 p.m. - Writer's Block: Technology & My Future
It will impact my future with an earth-shattering kaboom!
::blink::
Where is the kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom!
Current Music: still the cicadas
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7:42 p.m. - Writer's Block: Thanks to Technology…
Hmm... let's see. I am running Windows 98SE on a ten-year-old computer with a dial-up connection, I still listen to CDs on an ancient CD player and mp3s on the aforementioned computer, I have the most basic cell phone the store had available, and I'm taking medications developed at least a decade ago. If the question were "What are some things you cannot do today becauase various websites decided to use new tech that constantly crashes your computer?" I would have an easier time answering.
Current Mood: faintly amused
Current Music: billions and billions of cicadas
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Friday, August 28th, 2009
8:21 p.m.
So for a while I've had difficulty reading novels, just found it hard to concentrate on them for very long. At first I thought this meant I needed to read nonfiction books for a while, learn more about the real world. And at first, that was probably the right thing to do. But lately I've felt that I need to stop the escapist reading. You read about one subject and it's easy to make believe that the world is simple, reducible to components easily studied. Good fiction turns you around to face the complications of the real world. Good novels hold you up to see the cracks in the surface of your understanding. (Bad fiction can also get you thinking about those complications, but for different reasons.)
So for a while I'll be immersing myself in novels. Sorry I've been relatively quiet for so long--this could last some time longer. You haven't missed much, though. Last Friday & Saturday I was again too fatigued to do much, so I never left the house. Sunday a helpful housemate prodded me to go walking with her, running some errands, and Monday through Thursday I continued to scrape up enough energy to walk between two to four miles each day, even though one of those walks had to happen after I'd recovered from a soul-sucking migraine followed by the soul-sucking side effects of migraine medication (Wednesday I dearly wished that fewer things had sucked). Go me! Today I collapsed, again too tired, dizzy, and migrainey to go anywhere, but at least now I feel like I've done enough to make the fatigue worthwhile.
Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: night insects and a distant train
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Thursday, August 20th, 2009
7:00 p.m. - The Real Reason I walk everywhere is...
... so all the money I save on bus fare can be spent at local farmers markets, apparently.
Note: Never listen to a spiel about hand-rolled fresh mozzarella if you are not prepared to pay for it. When a vendor chirps, "If you have questions about anything we have on the table, just ask," and your response is "Why don't you tell me about everything?"--you are probably already in deep trouble. On the plus side, deep trouble can be tasty.
Current Mood: hungry
Current Music: cicadas and soccer players
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Wednesday, August 19th, 2009
10:50 p.m.
This is the way my life's been going: Tuesday, went to library to soak in the air conditioning; fell asleep. Wednesday, too sick and too tired to go anywhere. Thursday, very tired early in the day, but managed to walk about 4 miles running late afternoon & evening errands. Friday, too tired to leave the house, migrainey & seizure-prone. Saturday same as Friday. Sunday, tired on the verge of passing out in the morning but walked about 3 miles later in the day. Monday, never left the house. Tuesday, walked about 3 miles total. Wednesday (today), again very tired, needing to stay in bed for most of the day, but managed to walk about 2 miles in the late afternoon.
On the plus side, the sky just before twilight tonight was full of beautiful silvery clouds--that was a great time to be out for a walk. And I did manage to get to a local farmers market recently even if I was later than I'd hoped; so although I missed the chance at fresh-picked raspberries, I do have sweet cherry tomatoes and fuzzy peaches.
I want energy enough to live a life. Half a life may be better than none, but it's still nowhere near enough. Maybe when summer ends I'll feel better.
Current Mood: hot
Current Music: crickets, frogs, other night noises
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Thursday, August 13th, 2009
10:37 a.m. - Hummingwolf Today
Now Wearing: Long, lightweight, button-down, pale aqua nightgown, plus the usual pair of glasses and a loose band tying my hair back.
Now Seeing: Green leaves and some worrisome wasps outside the window.
Now Hearing: Cicadas, a fan, some random machinery outside.
Music of the Morning: For some reason, I awoke with the compulsion to listen to Maurice Ravel's arrangement of Modest Mussorgsky's Pictures at an Exhibition, a piece I hadn't listened to in quite some time. There are two different orchestral recordings of the Pictures in my CD collection, plus the mutant rock version by Emerson, Lake & Palmer. I'm not entirely sure how that happened.
Now Smelling: The canned salmon I'm eating for morning protein.
Now Tasting: See previous. Soon I'll have some oatmeal.
Now Feeling: Sleepy & achy, though I'm doing better than this time yesterday when I was bumping around the house with all the grace of a drunken bumblebee.
Miles Walked Yesterday: About half of one. Must do more today.
Last TV Show Watched: No clue. It was whichever rerun looked interesting before the switchover to digital television, I suppose. When last I checked, I could get in four analog stations--two in Spanish, one religious, and one with music videos I found uninteresting. Need new television.
Last Book Finished: An Inconvenient Wife by Megan Chance. I spent much of the book afraid to turn the page, afraid that some horrible cliché would jump out and attack me, but in the end the novel left me cackling with wicked glee. Now I've got her earlier Susannah Morrow checked out of the library.
Okay, So Why Haven't I Been Writing Here? Ran out of words. Must steal words from elsewhere in order to say anything at all. I hate stealing. Am working hard trying to earn a big stash of words so I shall have something to say once again.
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: chirpety birds, moaning machines, buzzing cicadas
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Friday, August 7th, 2009
5:24 p.m. - I was *going* to write a real post here
Have you had a day when you found yourself wandering through some of your more ancient LJ posts and then you suddenly stopped, yelling out "Wait! Wait! How come I still don't know who called that crisis response team?!"
Yeah, it's been like that. Except I'm happy knowing that I don't really need the answers.
Current Mood: content
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Thursday, August 6th, 2009
2:21 p.m. - Writer's Block: I May Be Crazy
Obviously, it's the beginning of a puppy version of conscience's DemonKidz.
(Am too tired now. Real post eventually.)
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Friday, July 31st, 2009
9:13 p.m. - Hummingwolf This Week
Last Saturday (July 25), I finally--finally!--got to go hang out with friends. My body (mostly) behaved itself for a change! So it was great to go to a cookout, see lyssabard for the first time in a year (had seen tlttlotd more recently, I think, but not much more recently), eat hasufin's justly infamous jerk chicken, follow that up with delicious desserts, engage in entertaining conversations, and all that sort of thing.
When winds and thunder came calling with a promise of rain, several of us stayed outside to enjoy it. It's not that we don't know enough to come in out of the rain. We know--and we willingly go out to greet the storm. Later, back inside, we watched the movie Coraline, which I enjoyed rather a lot (Q&A over on this site).
Since last Saturday, the week's been full of smaller pleasures and pains. Went to two different farmers markets this week, so my supply of fresh blackberries and tomatoes will probably last until at least Sunday. (Mmm, blackberries!) Caught a glimpse of a passing goldfinch. Watched butterflies dance. Wondered what to do when a wasp got into my room, then was enchanted by a spider that caught the wasp and trussed it up, reminding me why I like spiders. Spent far too many hours feeling melancholy and feeling guilty about it, then decided to stop feeling guilty. Walked four miles yesterday. Walked as far as the back porch today. Swallowed lots of tea to chase away a migraine. Delighted in the wind and rain as today's bands of weather came through. Spent a couple hours on the computer being a bit obsessive. Had a conversation about what more useful things might be done with my talents for obsessiveness (and my occasionally (somewhat entertainingly) analytical mind (but no mention of my unholy love of nested parentheses)). Spent more hours away from the computer napping, reading, daydreaming. Decided that Nine Inch Nails' Year Zero is my album of the day. Got back online and decided it was time to post a LiveJournal entry. Hello.
Current Mood: thirsty
Current Music: Nine Inch Nails, "Me, I'm Not"
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Saturday, July 25th, 2009
9:58 a.m. - Writer's Block: Leave Room
People who know me are probably expecting me to say something about dark chocolate here. However, while chocolate is certainly an essential food group, I have been to two farmers markets this week and have been reminded that the hot summer months do bring some good things with them: fresh blackberries! Fresh blueberries too! I have a plate of berries beside me now and am grateful for them. They're not going to last till the next farmers market, though.
Also bought from (relatively) local growers this week: eggplant, purple pepper, red Swiss chard. Anthocyanins For The Win!
Current Mood: content
Current Music: cicadas singing
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Monday, July 20th, 2009
11:56 p.m. - QOTM
There are no exact guidelines. There are probably no guidelines at all. The only thing I can recommend at this stage is a sense of humor, an ability to see things in their ridiculous and absurd dimensions, to laugh at others and at ourselves, a sense of irony regarding everything that calls out for parody in this world. In other words, I can only recommend perspective and distance. Awareness of all the most dangerous kinds of vanity, both in others and in ourselves. A good mind. A modest certainty about the meaning of things. Gratitude for the gift of life and the courage to take responsibility for it. Vigilance of spirit.
--Václav Havel upon receiving the Open Society Prize awarded by Central European University (24 June 1999)
Seen in an article somewhere, then located on Wikiquote (along with many other good words).
Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: an overactive fan
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Wednesday, July 15th, 2009
9:18 a.m. - "Religion" Survey (A Summer Rerun)
Hey, guys! It's Summer Rerun time! This is an entry from 2005 which I am reposting for two reasons: (A) I still like my answers, and (B) I want to see all of yours! Please, if you happen to be interested in writing out your own answers to this survey--or if you happen to be bored and can't think of anything better to do that doesn't put you at risk of prolonged incarceration, extreme injury, or imminent death--please post your own answers to your own journal!
Because I'm curious, that's why. Or because I said so. Whichever answer works for you. Now, on to the show!
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Questions taken from the "What religion do you fit in with?" quiz going around. Answers are my own. [Edit: Original URL removed due to uselessness. Quiz may now be found at this location should anyone care to find out their own results.]
Do you believe that man was created in the form of God, or that man evolved from other species?
Both. I don't believe in results without processes. That isn't how creation works for humans--and if we were made in the image of a Creator, why would we expect process-free results from Him?
Are you a believer that you should try everything at least once?
Oh, I should try being tortured to death, dying of lung cancer, dying of heart attack, dying of gunshot wounds... erm, no. No, I believe that some things are better left untried, thanks.
What do you trust more, your feelings/intuition or your logic/rational capabilities?
I think that feelings without logic lead only to madness, and I feel that logic without emotion ignores a necessary part of the data. Reasoning and feelings are both essential. That's why we've got them.
Do you plan to recant on your deathbed?
I don't believe I've canted enough. Or cantered. I definitely should canter more often, perhaps with a cantor along.
Do you often find different ways of expressing your own spirituality?
I am a spiritual animal. Everything I do is a way of expressing my spirituality, as well as my animality.
Do you believe in any kind of afterlife?
Yes.
Do you believe in capital punishment?
Yes, there are too many reports of capital punishment taking place throughout the world for me not to believe in it.
Oh, I know, I know, "believe" in these two questions is not meant in the same way. Then again, maybe it is: Maybe "believe" in both cases means, not "Do you think this is true?" but "Do you think this is the way things should be, whether they are or not?" In that case: I believe that some people deserve to die, but that the judicial system is currently too fallible for me to endorse capital punishment whole-heartedly. Also: I'm not sure I believe that an afterlife should exist--maybe this world really should be all that we get, but I don't think that it is.
( More questions and answers inside! )
Current Mood: curious
Current Music: chirping birds and a distant train
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Sunday, July 12th, 2009
9:01 p.m. - Writer's Block: Economizing
I keep buying those inexcusable sausage, egg & cheese sandwiches from 7-Eleven when I feel the need for quick protein. It would be easy enough to buy the ingredients to make my own, more healthful equivalents (with veggies!) and would certainly save money. Must remind self to buy bread, eggs, and meat (or soysage) at the store tomorrow.
I want to get back in the habit of posting more here, but I'm not convinced that going through the Writer's Block archives is the way to go. Anybody have any good quiz recommendations?
Current Music: same as before, plus housemates talking
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8:49 p.m. - Writer's Block: Newsworthy
Does LiveJournal count? How about topical comedy programmes on BBC Radio? I keep meaning to pay more attention to the real news in the world, but mostly I'm letting other people do the filtering for me. Instead of following the latest stories, I spend much of the day in bed reading old books--or at least trying to read books, then giving up and daydreaming a while because the weather has finally decided to be summery and the heat is melting my brain.
In other news(?), I am still leading a dull and boring life, largely due to my body's decision that it has been too long since I last lost consciousness involuntarily. At least it still has the decency to give me advance warning so I can find a soft place to land. So yeah, haven't done much interesting lately because it's been so hard to find the energy. Major events of last week: Going to the library, where I smiled and waved at a couple of former housemates; watching a clan of Canada geese at a nearby pond; being startled by a turkey(!) wandering between yards a couple blocks from here (chickens are not all that uncommon, but the turkey is new); going to a farmers market. I'm already nearly out of fresh cherry tomatoes and oak leaf lettuce, but there's plenty of smoked jalapeño cheddar cheese left yet.
Current Mood: hot
Current Music: cicadas, fan, and someone in the kitchen
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8:15 p.m. - Writer's Block: Lights Out
I'll just link to an old post: What I Did On My Isabel Vacation, by Hummingwolf. Not so much a story as a collection of notes from the days we had with no power after Hurricane Tropical Storm Isabel.
Current Music: cicadas and the whirring of a fan
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Tuesday, July 7th, 2009
10:43 p.m. - Question of the moment
Poll #1426642 Bunny?
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 25When you see a pair of exclamation marks, do you ever feel compelled to draw a nose, mouth, and possibly whiskers underneath?
Current Mood: curious
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2 (8.0%)